December 17, 2019
grief and anger

Anger and Grief

The default for many people in the throes of grief is anger. Anger at others and anger at oneself. Angry that one is left to go through belongings, make decisions, complete paperwork, face court cases, arrange communication with family and friends, left behind to cope. The externalization of those emotions is rage, outbursts, physical and medical changes. The internalization of the emotions is depression. Same emotion, different direction. Both directions can be destructive. Remaining angry does not promote healing and internalizing as depression can cause self loathing, guilt, and emotional paralysis. The primary reason, in my 25+years of counseling, for […]
November 28, 2019


Grief over the loss of a loved one is a very personal intimate experience. It revolves around our relationship with the deceased, our life story, our season of life and what we believe about death. No two people grieve alike. Even people in the same family look at loss from their own perspective. Who or what have they lost? What was the daily significance? Do they feel safe? Will their role change? Is a move likely? Married couples have to acknowledge that they will grieve the loss of a child differently and honor each other in that grief. Sibling loss […]
November 27, 2019


Grief is a complicated combination of emotions, thoughts and physical experiences that occur after loss. It can cause our defenses and I ate coping mechanisms to rise up and create numbness  or denial, It can create opportunity for physical manifestations such as heart palpitations, severe anxiety, rise in blood pressure, changes in sleep and appetite and a host of other things. Grief is insidious. People have described it as consuming, heart wrenching, exhausting, or like putting on a coat of wet concrete. Steeling oneself against that pain may work for a moment or a day,  but long term it is […]